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This phonetic Labyrinth

A student recently gave me a copy of this poem, written during the 1940s. It is a truly wonderful thing to see the foibles and curiosities of the English language laid out like this. Enjoy-but ignore the last line of the poem if you are an English learner! Thanks to RP. “This PHONETIC LABYRINTH” The following was written during World War II by a Dutchman whose knowledge of English was very extensive.  It was published in “Vry Nederland,” the temporary organ of the Free Netherlands community in exile. To that publication, which is now defunct, acknowledgement is made for reprinting the verses here. Dearest creature in creation, studying English pronunciation, I will teach you in my verse, sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse, I will keep you, Susy, busy, make your head with heat grow dizzy; Tear in eye, your dress you’ll tear–so shall I!  Oh, hear my prayer! Pray console your loving poet, make my coat look new, dear, sew it! Just comp...